NAVIGATING THE BREASTFEEDING JOURNEY
Growing up, breastfeeding wasn't a visible part of my family culture. My mother, who immigrated to the United States, didn't breastfeed, and I always felt it was somewhat seen as something to hide or even “unnatural”crazy right?! This perception, perhaps influenced by Western culture or modernity, stood in contrast to the norms of my Mexican heritage, where breastfeeding is a very natural and open practice.
When I became pregnant with my first son, Giovanni, I was living in Santa Barbara and divinely met a mama who would become one of my best friends. She introduced me to the ideas of natural birth, homeschooling and breastfeeding. Around the same time, another friend recommended the documentary The Business of Being Born, which opened my eyes to a different perspective on childbirth and infant care. Although, there was still so much hesitancy in me I was inspired and sought a local birth center to learn more.
Dad, Gio and Mama w/bottle in hand
However, my journey with Giovanni was far from easy. I had flat nipples which I didn’t know was a thing or that it could potentially make latching difficult. We tried using a nipple shield, but it didn't fully resolve the issues. Despite my efforts, I struggled to nurse him and ended up exclusively pumping for 5-6 months—which was wild IYKYK. Even after my researching, I didn’t feel prepared for the challenges that came with my particular breastfeeding journey. I remember the shock of experiencing engorgement the first time; and the pain! The overwhelming discomfort was discouraging, and it felt like I was navigating uncharted waters. Eventually, I switched to formula, feeling devastated by what felt like a failure. This time began to teach me how much grace and embracing my unique experience would inevitably allow me mother more wholly. It was a challenging time, and I realized that when we talk about breastfeeding, it's important to acknowledge the hard work and emotional toll it can take. Applauding mothers for breastfeeding doesn't diminish the efforts of those who use formula; it simply acknowledges the unique challenges of the journey.
Four and a half years later, when I had my second son, Noah, I was determined to nurse. However, complications arose again. After an emergency c-section, I was exhausted and physically at my capacity, which impacted my ability to breastfeed. Noah seemed colicky, and I was struggling to cope. That's when my incredible friend and doula, Michelle, stepped in. Sensing my overwhelm, she invited me to stay at her house for a week, where we would get nursing down! Her determination to help me get this figured out was both a lifeline and a challenge, as she believed the benefits of breastfeeding could significantly ease both Noahs and my life.
Mama and Noah + Michelle and Her Hubby in the back
At that point, I was overwhelmed, exhausted, and ready to give up. The last thing I wanted was to try again. I felt vulnerable and raw, especially when Michelle brought in a lactation consultant. It was a moment of sheer exhaustion and vulnerability, but also a turning point. With their support, Noah finally latched. It was a breakthrough that I didn’t know could happen for me! Michelle's push, though tough at the time, was exactly what I needed. She believed in me when I was at my end and because of that support I went on to nurse Noah for two years. It was the best gift she could have given me—both as a friend and a doula.
Reflecting on my experiences, I see a journey marked by cultural perceptions, personal challenges, and the immense gift in the support of friends. Breastfeeding Awareness Month is an opportunity to acknowledge the unique journey of breastfeeding and the resilience it often requires. Every mother's journey is filled with its own set of challenges and triumphs, and all deserve to be recognized and celebrated.
To all the mamas out there: you are doing an amazing job! It is your love and dedication to doing your best to nourish your little and simultaneously honor your own wellbeing that makes all the difference mama!
These experiences truly taught me just how important it is to have support—someone to hold you as you navigate one of life’s most profound initiations. It humbled me and showed me that being a good mother isn’t about always getting it right; it’s about embracing how our journey shapes us and responding with grace to the beauty and challenges along the way.
In this together,
Mel
